Crossing

The last 8 months. If I had to choose one word to sum it up, it would be “crossing.” Crossing paths that at times have seemed endless and at other times had clear direction. I have learned a lot, I am still learning, and I know I still have more paths to cross.  But I am learning. Learning to take care of myself, learning to acknowledge me and most of all, learning that I enjoy the so many people I have crossed paths with in my almost 52 years.

I have learned I do not have a fear of being alone. Here’s why. When I stop and look around, I see you all smiling at me. But you see a person that is not always clear to me. I am not sure why I have this blurred vision of myself at times. Maybe fear, or maybe a sense of I can always be better. In either case, my support system is beyond what I could ever ask.  And through it you give me the strength and encouragement to find my true self.

This takes me back to my first blog entry. Creating my life. Creating my fences. Over the last 8 months, the fences have been unwieldy. And at times it seems as though the actions I have taken are not the ones that moved me closer to the alignment of my ideal life. But they really are. The successes and struggles over the past 8 months are real. And real in the sense that I had to experience both to be in the place I am today. A place I can say I have learned a lot and have few to no regrets. Is today the ideal?  I don’t think so. But this crossing allows me the opportunity to keep finding my way and myself.

The plan remains to build a life by design. Crossing through the different paths as I learn “a day in the life of me” is still forming and that’s okay. Sometimes you must “unbecome” yourself to reach a better self.  When it’s all said and done: Be good to yourself. Listen to yourself. Take care of yourself. And most importantly, be okay with yourself.  It does your soul good.

“Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so they don’t find themselves at all.”